Top Ten Vice-Presidential Candidates
10. Bob Barker - we would even let him carry around an ultra-skinny microphone to speak into at all times, supply him with mega bronzer, and have his name announced every time he "comes on down" to a legislative session.
9. Tyra Banks- Everytime they asked her for a comment she would just simply reply "That is FIERCE"!
8. Mike Tyson- If the President, or anyone else, gets out of line he can just bite them.
7. Jeff Gordon- everytime a bill was passed he would spray down everyone on the Senate floor with champagne to celebrate.
6. Martha Stewart- the Capitol Building will get a well deserved make over with all the extra time she has (everyone knows the VP doesn't do much anyway-kidding). Perhaps she could make themed rooms in the whtte house like a jungle room, french cottage, or an old mining lodge and then rent out the rooms to guest. Oh wait- that last idea was already done by the Clinton's.
5. Simon Cowell- because he would have no problem telling the President when he is being "an idiot", "unbearable", "the worst ever", "annoying", or "absolutely dreadful". And he would just look away and not feel like he had to apologize for it.
4. Elmer Fudd- because he carries a gun too and could just as easily take a shot at his good buddies like Dick Cheney did.
3. Oprah Winfrey- it is inevitable, she is taking over the world anyway. So why not give her another channel to do so. (no hate mail here, I quite like Oprah)
2. Ellen De Generes- because this country needs a good laugh from time to time. Wouldn't she be great to send to other countries to negotiate us and others out of war.
1. Warren Jeffs- he seems to be keeping thousands of women quite happy on the YFZ ranch. Why not let him take a stab at keeping the rest of the nation happy too. Plus he would have to work for some of the money he is currently making off of the government.
Anyway, it is all meant in good fun. Feel free to leave me a comment with a few names that you would include -even though most of you won't :)
7 comments:
#1,589,621,799- Jaron Winder
Wow, this is just like real politics....picking the least crappy candidate on the list. Let's see... Martha Stewart, Mike Tyson, and Warren Jeffs are all felons. Simon Cowell is a forienger, Elmer Fudd a cartoon, Bob Barker would need to be put in a rest home before his term was up, and did Tyra Banks or Jeff Gordon even go to college? That leaves Oprah or Ellen. My vote goes to Ellen - she's funnier.
k, i didn't know you had a blog, i am going to stalk you now and read it. =)
i just reazlied i never commented on this...thanks for narrowing it down, carrie! i too vote for ellen over oprah because oprah would probably change the name of the country to the united states of oprah and i think i'm the only one that would protest! but really i think bob barker & his skinny microphone would be so much fun! we should check into getting some of those at the office! haha p.s. it's almost tuesday--what's TTT gonna be tomorrow? :)
on 2nd thought, Tyra would be a totally "fierce" choice! can you imaine how good everyone would look? plus you would be guaranteed a job for life: teaching people how to walk correctly (runway style)
tyra banks is my favorite.
Hmm, ever thought of submitting these top 10 lists to Jay, Dave or even Ellen? They might just have a job in store for you, you know!
Cindy
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